So, taking a break from thinking about the historical, theological, and psychological implications of the death of Judas for a few minutes (for a paper, of course... not like I sit around and think about such things for kicks -- except when Andrew and I get on a roll), I was surfing through the profiles on online dating sites, which is not nearly as entertaining without Natalie and Hannah around, but it was a nice brain-break.
Anyhow, tonight I happened to run across a Christian online dating site. However, while acknowledging that one of my most impervious bad habits is judgment-as-self-protection, I have to say it was a scary sight. I feel horrible that I seem to be selling out my peeps, and there were certainly a few exceptions, but mostly the men seemed to fall into two categories.
First, we have the idealistic, verbose, closet-poet-who-works-in-sales type. His photo shows him hugging a small child that he is quick to point out is his niece. He frequently mentions that his deepest desire is to be a doting husband/father to "the woman God is preparing" for him and the children who will be "vessels of God's love to the world." His response to the type of woman he hopes to find is seven paragraphs long and includes a frighteningly impossible plethora of yets: laid-back yet driven, tough yet tender, adventurous yet nurturing, playful yet serious, shares his interests yet has a mind/life of her own. His site name is something like "greatguy883" or "live4him".
The second type of guy doesn't spell, punctuate, or write in complete sentences (sorry, I'm a little hung up on grammar). His photo is either tilted at a funny angle from where he tried to cut out his ex-girlfriend, whose arms you can still see around his waist, or it's a head shot that looks like it could get him a job on General Hospital circa 1983. He uses all caps whenever he writes the word GOD, and his ideal woman, if he bothers to answer any of the questions, is some type of cross between Betty Crocker and Mother Teresa.
So, without further ado, I present 10 (OK... 11) direct quotes from a cursory search of our eligible bachelors.
10. "i think im funny when i dont try to be funny i am when i try to be funny im not."
9. Describing a perfect first date: "Anywhere That we could look into eachother's eyes....to witness the truth of our beings."
8. Describing hobbies, presumably attempting humor: "I like shooting beer cans with my beebee gun. Oh, and Ima trainin' the dawg to get beers from the frig"
7. Regarding prior relationships: "What you put into a relationship, you might as well kiss goodbye, you won't be getting it back. Have I learned anything?... Crap, I am not THAT stupid."
6. Also regarding prior relationships: "I was just such a pain."
5. Describing his faith: "In the words of Jerry Maguire - 'JC Completes me.'"
4. Regarding the ideal woman: "think Drew Barrymore meets Janice from the muppets"
3. Regarding the ideal woman: "im looking for a talented,witty beautiful lady that compliments me with her bieng there with me. Not a woman whos has my back from way back."
2. Regarding the paragraph he had just written about the ideal woman: "Wow, this is really boring."
1. "I would love to be a father and a husband, but just having a relationship with a woman would be a great start." (OK, so this guy seemed really sweet, I feel bad putting him in here)
0. "And yes, contrary to popular opinion, engineers are people too!"
2 comments:
Janice from the muppets?
And yes, a good start to be a father and a husband is just having a relationship first.
:-)
Speaking of Judas....
Funny stuff(aside from the Judas part).
At least he's training the dawg to go get beers from the frig, itsa one less thing that youll have to do....
Post a Comment