Di'anu

I will probably butcher something about the meaning of Dayeinu in this, but here goes.

The word means "enough," in the sense of, "it would have been enough" or "it would suffice." There's a little song that goes with it, in the passover haggadah, in which each successive step of God's provision for the Israelites is recounted -- and punctuated with the claim that each of these steps, though not the whole shebang, per se, would have been sufficient:

Had God fed us with manna and not given us the Sabbath, Dayeinu!
Had God given us the Sabbath and not brought us to Mount Sinai, Dayeinu!
Had God brought us to Mount Sinai and not given us the Torah, Dayeinu!
Had God given us the Torah and not led us into the land of Israel, Dayeinu!

Dayeinu. It would have been enough. I love this concept because contentedness is usually something I have to remind myself about. Dayeinu. What I have, even if it is all I ever have, even if it all goes away tomorrow, is already so much that it would suffice. Even if I never get an iPod.

The second part of dayeinu I really liked was the explanation in the haggadah, which likened the whole process to acceptance of necessary baby steps, in the long process of getting to where we want to be. It's a very therapy (and AA)-oriented concept, which might be why I liked it so much. Each of the steps, alone, really weren't enough, at least in terms of getting the Israelites into, well, Israel, and completing what was begun. But they could never have gotten there, eventually, if they hadn't gone through each step along the way. So, the concept that even if what you have isn't enough, it's something, and being grateful for what it is will do a heck of a lot more to move you along there than sitting down on your butt and whining that you didn't get the whole thing handed to you on a silver platter. As my OT prof said, "it's not enough, but it's not nothing. And it is a gift from God."

I was talking about this with a classmate the other day, about the way that Christians often sit around and pray for something - something holy-sounding, of course; say, that God would change us, and make us more patient or kind or generous - and then protest when we're given an opportunity to take part in getting what we asked for, to do the work of changing, rather than waking up one day changed, which is what we thought we asked for. Or in her case, she was frustrated because she wants to be in a relationship but is afraid to practice dating, because it's scary and you have to be vulnerable and risk getting rejected a few times along the way and things like that.

So dayeinu: for the $&*$!# LA traffic because it gives me a chance to practice being patient; for people who irritate the snot out of me because it is a chance to practice being kind; for people who ask for my time, attention, and money because I have a chance to practice being generous with what I have been given; for G who makes me practice saying what is on my mind and not running away. Baby steps, being OK with where you're at in the process of getting to where you want to be, not knowing if you'll ever get there. Dayeinu. It is enough.