So, I was thinking about donating my eggs.
It's quite lucrative, actually -- I'm worth $6,000 for being a tall, thin, white college graduate with high SAT scores and no family history of major hereditary disease. As I approach 30, it beats making $8.50 an hour at Starbucks, and it may be my last year of eligibility. Plus, I've rented my body to science before... and aside from the side effects of a week of nausea and a now-permanent craving for mexican food, it worked out pretty well.
On the down-side, it involves a process called harvesting. Ick.
But I'm getting hung up on some of the ethical part. Not the usual reasons that people think of, though. I'm not worried about the idea of having a real live actual biological child somewhere in the world. Unlike the author of this article , I think there's a heck of a lot more to being a mother than just growing a baby (don't get me started on the rest of the her ideas... let's just say that people like that are the reason I speak softly when I say I am a Christian). My ethical hang-ups have nothing to do with what defines a family. They actually have to do with the fact that, unlike that author, my faith makes me so pro-adoption that I have a hard time justifying being a source of new babies when there are so many already who need families.
That idea unsettles me, though, not because of its implications now, but because it causes too many unanswerable questions in too many other times and places. The logical outcome of that ethic is that down the road I'd adopt kids rather than having my own, even if I can. This is fine with me now, as I'm not currently particularly under the influence of my biological clock. Thus, it's easy to sit here and be a windbag about adopting, vs. having one's own baby the "usual" way, vs. spending thousands and thousands of dollars to have one's own baby with a little help from Craigslist, ordering a la carte characteristics in a donor like food off a menu.
Can I draw a line? and where? and how do I feel about drawing it in pencil? I don't particularly like the idea of changing my ethics when it suits me, but I have to leave room for the idea that someday, my clock might start ticking and I may understand the issue differently.
I guess the real questions are ethical ones in general:
a) are we willing to follow our ethics to their logical conclusions no matter where they lead,
b) is that the point of having ethics? (having something to help determine our actions when culture, emotion, and gray area abound), and
b) is adjusting our ethics in the face of new information caving in, or is it just humility?
I suppose those all have debatable answers (I'm a sucker for a good debate). Regardless, don't worry, I'm not going to be hauling my eggs off to market anytime soon. And if any of you have room in your lives for an AIDS orphan from Haiti, I can hook you up.
6 comments:
I've read several blogs about conceiving and trying to conceive a baby. Several of these bloggers (bloggists?) hold tight to the belief that if it's their right to have children then they should do it with whatever it takes. Not one of these people mentioned trying to adopt first and a few of them didn't think they could love a child that wasn't their own biologically. So while this doesn't even attempt to answer any of the questions you posed, I have to wonder does giving birth make one a mom or does being a parent/caring for another dependent human being? Can a woman be a mother without giving birth?
To try and answer your questions...
1) For many, being an emotive being is what helps make one an ethical one
2)I'm not sure what the point it is yet. Whenever I feel strongly about something my sense of ethics seems to change. I have to make the effort to be more rational.
3) I think it's humility.
OK, so maybe I should just pray/hope that more people will want to adopt... since trying to convince people to do it if they're not moved to is pretty futile (and actually quite dangerous).
So I'm sitting here catching up on my email and reading your blog, and what do I hear on the radio? A commercial for egg donors. Coincidence?
Here's what I think:
Screw ethics. This world is a messed up place, full of broken people, most of whom do not have a clue that they are broken. I tire of these people. Try as I might, I have little patience for them. You, my dear friend, are one of my favorite people. And maybe its because you realize you're broken, but you're always trying to fix not only yourself, but anyone who looks like they may need fixin. So, do I think you should do something that could potentially bring more Julies into the world? I say, BRING IT ON!! ;)
thanks beckster... I needed to lighten up today. Too many days in class and no one to play with here makes julie dull and uptight.
but really... harvesting??! I'll think about it. If I change my mind, y'all will be the first to know.
It's not that I don't want more Julie's in this world or that I think donating eggs is morally or ethically wrong. It's really a strange reason that I think it's not such a good idea...a reason that I hesitate to publish here but will be more than happy to tell you about via email and whatnot.
grr. sorry. That last comment was from me!
Jessica
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